Based in Frederick, Maryland, Digital Ink & Parchment is a blog by Alexandria Pallat. Her posts explore the integration of faith in every day life.

What To Do...When You Don't Know What To Do

What To Do...When You Don't Know What To Do

There are moments in life when we are at a complete loss. Maybe we don’t know what to say. Maybe we don’t know how to react. Or maybe we just aren’t sure what the next step is. Either way, we are going to come across moments when we just don’t know what to do. So, what do we do in those instances? Here are a few things I’ve learned we can do when we just don’t know what to do. They’re things I’m still practicing, but in the two years I’ve begun embracing them, I’ve seen a huge difference.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Admitting we need help is the strongest thing we can do. Whether it be for our mental health, in our relationships, or even to solve an every day problem, it shows we are willing to admit that we can’t do everything on our own. Yes, it means being vulnerable, but vulnerability is the key to continued relationship with others. It’s also the key to experiencing, and giving, grace. Asking for help by going to therapy has been one of the best decisions I have made for myself.

Seek counsel.

This is in line with “don’t be afraid to ask for help,” but I consider them two different things. Asking for help is like asking for assistance to solve a problem. Seeking counsel implies a desire to have wisdom continually poured into you by a trusted person—be that a parent, a friend, or a mentor. Connect with groups and people in your church. Or visit someone who has experience with what you are facing. These individuals can often see things we don’t, and they can provide wisdom to your questioning from someone who has been there and has gotten to the other side. It can be painful at first because the wisdom we hear isn’t always what we want to hear, but it’s valuable. It’s important, though too, to be aware of who you are seeking counsel from.

Pray.

This is our best defense for anything and everything. It doesn’t matter what struggle we are facing, God wants to hear about it. He wants to hear it from us. Pray for the wisdom to make the best decision. Pray for peace. Pray for change. Pray for renewal. Pray in your room, at your desk at work, in the car…it doesn’t matter how, use do it. I’ve been asked a few times how I can believe in God the way I do, and my answer is always the same: because I can’t explain the peace I feel when I pray any other way than by His presence.

Sit with yourself.

Turn off distractions. Be with yourself and acknowledge what it happening. This sounds counterintuitive, but facing the situation head on can often lead us to revelations. It also allows us time to process and look internally at how we have been reacting and if our reactions need to change. (If you’re like me, they usually do.) Jot down thoughts that come to you and look at it from a different perspective. What can you learn from this experience? What is God trying to do in your life through it?

What do you do when you aren’t sure what to do? What would you add to this list?

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