Based in Frederick, Maryland, Digital Ink & Parchment is a blog by Alexandria Pallat. Her posts explore the integration of faith in every day life.

When Apathy Turns To Interest

When Apathy Turns To Interest

For a long time, I didn’t understand the draw to work in government or serve your country. Please do not misunderstand—I have always greatly appreciated these individuals and the sacrifices they make. I just never understood why they would make them. What was it that compelled them to serve?

When my husband joined the military, I didn’t understand his decision. The conversation I remember the most is the one we had once I had (finally) accepted it. I had asked him “why” multiple times, always in frustration or anger. My anger was selfish, and as I worked to rid myself of that selfishness, I wanted to have a clearer understanding. In this particular conversation, I remember asking “why” in the calmest way I ever had. I asked if he felt it was his calling. “I don’t know,” he said after a pause. “I just feel a draw to do it, and I know I can’t ignore it.” And though I still struggled for some time with the change to our life. that the military brought, I began to see and understand that he was happy, and he felt like he was doing something.

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I’ve lived in the Washington, D.C. Metro Area for two years now, so I’ve had the opportunity to visit Washington, D.C. more now than I have before. I’ve been with friends and family, but I’ve also taken the Metro and explored the city on my own. Each time I am there, I am struck by emotions. I didn’t understand it at first, but I do now.

Impact.

As I walk through the Smithsonian museums, honor those who have fought for our country at the monuments, and gaze upon the structure that represents our country, I realize I am in awe. I realize that I am proud, and lucky, to live where I do. And I realize that, whether I agree with politics or not, I want to make an impact. I have to be willing to do something about the change I hope to see in my world. I want to help people.

I’m not sure what form this will take. I’m still figuring it out, and I’m still a bit surprised at myself. But I have an idea, and I’m working on it.

It’s new to me to truly want to make a difference. I have been praying for purpose, and I think God is leading me there. He’s going to see how badly I want it and if I’m willing to listen to Him and allow Him to guide the process, but He is showing me that there’s more to life than I thought. He’s showing me that there’s more to me than I thought.

God uses our wandering and our struggles to shape us. He has called us to care for people and be world changers, and He can use those hard seasons to show us how we can do that. He can turn our apathy to interest when we let Him in. This is true in anything from careers to relationships to life. And if you feel like you’re suddenly interested in something, test it. Think about it. If you can’t seem to get over it, if the more you think about it the more you like it, then step forward.

If you feel a tug on your heart to do something, lean in to it. God is likely asking you to step out in faith and trust Him to move forward.

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