Getting To Know Yourself
I’ve been wanting to do things that push me out of my comfort zone, but I know that it’s important to take things slow. I don’t want to do something that would scare me too much and cause me to not want to continue to challenge myself.
Probably the most difficult part of this hard season was the realization that I had lost myself in my marriage. Sure, I had things I liked to do and hobbies, but we spent most of our time together, and I began relating and identifying myself as it related to him. What was once self assurance turned into timidness and a desire to please. I’m not quite sure where that came from since my husband never told me—covertly or overtly—that I should be that way. Perhaps it was just the new terrain of marriage added on to being a new adult. No matter the why, when the hard season set in, and I began to see I was setting myself and my fight up for the long haul, I realized I didn’t really know who I was.
So I set out to change that.
I have had an apartment to myself. I have gone on a lone road trip with Belle. Belle and I go hiking frequently. I have committed myself to a church, and I have made lasting relationships from that church. I exercise every day because I want to. I’m finding my personal style. But, interestingly enough, I haven’t gone to dinner or a movie by myself.
Until this past weekend.
I took myself to see Aladdin. I was really nervous. I was worried about being judged for being by myself or for being an adult at the theater to see a Disney movie. When I expressed this to my friends they reminded me that no one is watching and that it can actually be a liberating experience. And it was. I walked in a little nervous, but by the time I sat down in the theater, it felt like any other day, and I was just excited for the movie. I walked out so glad that I did it.
This experience taught me that:
You should not buy your candy at the theater (seriously, that stuff is more expensive than it should be)
It’s okay—and fun!—to go out on your own
Be proud of who you are and what you like
There were a lot of kids and families in that theater, but not one of them looked at me to judge an adult in the theater on her own. I was just as excited as they were for the Maleficent trailer, and I was just as excited about the familiar songs in Aladdin. And that’s okay, because that’s who I am. Being an adult is hard, and we all need a break once in a while. Disney is my break.
Getting to know yourself is a huge part of growing up, and it’s a vital part of personal growth. Sometimes it takes longer for us to figure out who we are. Sometimes, when our world is shaken, we have to figure it out all over again. Both of those are okay. We all move at different paces.
So get to know yourself. Go to dinner and a movie on your own. Go on a walk. Go to a winery. Do something that gets you out of your comfort zone. What are you going to do? What will get you out of your comfort zone?
I know I’m ready for my next adventure. I’m thinking (indoor) skydiving.