Day 6: Neutrality
How did it go?
Have you ever had one of those days where you don’t feel fantastic…but you don’t feel terrible either? A day where you just sort of…float around, knowing what you’re supposed to do, trying to do it, but not really feeling motivated to do any of it?
Well, that was my day.
I don’t want to say I felt empty. At the same time, though, I’m not sure I felt much of anything. Even the two podcast episodes I finished today didn’t help other than to distract me on my commute. I guess that's how depression works--some days you're good, some days you're not, and some days you're just...there, a shell.
Maybe today was just a neutral day.
Then again, maybe God was using today to show me something.
What did I learn?
I don’t think my learning about the day stops just because I write. I think I learn a bit more about what my day had to offer me even as I write. Maybe what I learned today, then, is that neutrality is okay.
I also learned I don't like feeling like a shell of myself. Yet...I'm not quite sure how to achieve not feeling like that when, well, I do. Maybe that's something I'll learn along the way.
I learned, too, that God wants us to call to Him in our times of trouble. We need to realize that we cannot rely on ourselves or what the world has to offer for wisdom and healing.
So maybe it’s not so much about being in a “good mood” all the time, but rather to diminish the negative thoughts. And maybe it's about drawing closer to God.
Maybe that's what neutral days are for.