Days 20 & 21: Small Faith
How did it go?
Yesterday marked Day 20 in my 30-day positivity challenge, which means I am almost “done.” My goal, though, is to not be done with positivity just because the challenge itself is over. I was (and still am) hoping the challenge could transform, or help transform, the way I think and process through my anxiety and depression. I can feel the change that just trying to think positively has brought on, and that has made a difference in my overall outlook.
Having said that, I am combining Day 20 and Day 21 for a few reasons. The first is because yesterday was an emotional day that I needed to process. I had a friend visit me at my dad’s last night and we were all up until midnight, chatting. Between the emotions and the late night, I was tuckered out. The second reason is because today is yet another day of travel. This time, I’m heading back to the East Coast (“home”). While I have layovers, I won’t make it home until past midnight, and, even though I’ll sleep on the flights, I’ll be exhausted. Plus, let’s face it, I can only do so much positive reframing of flying before I’m lying to myself. (I hate flying. It gives me a ton of anxiety. I think it’s a control thing.)
Like I said, I can feel even a small change come over me when I work to reframe my thoughts into positivity. It’s somewhere between a fog and a physical feeling of being lighter. It just provides me a better way to go about my day: my tears come to a halt (though maybe not abruptly), my heart rate (sort of) slows down, I can breathe a little easier. Maybe the biggest change in feeling, though, is the feeling like my brain has changed.
Everything we think releases chemicals in our brain, and focusing on negativity can quickly drain our brain of its life force. In fact, negative thinking literally programs our brains to receive negative chemicals, making you more likely to be negative. In other words, it can turn into a constant cycle.
No matter what happens, I don’t want to be in that cycle.
What did I learn?
As usual, I need to reprogram myself to speak with God and listen to Him consistently each day. I haven’t quite figured it out yet, but I think that acknowledging that it’s a need is the first step.
Part of positivity is “keeping your head up.” That is, believe in the best possible outcome. It’s amazing what simple belief can do.
So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. – Matthew 17:20 (NKJV)
How powerful, right!? Just a tiny bit of faith can move mountains! I am determined to have that faith. But it’s something I can only achieve if I meet with God each day.
I want to also say this: note that Jesus did not say “and it will move immediately.” He only said it would move. In that word (or, really, the lack of a word), I am reminded that everything will happen in God’s timing. The mountain will move, even if it doesn’t happen immediately. Heck, it will move, even if it seems so incremental we can’t even see it. But our faith will move it because He is on our side.
What do you need believing for right now? What mountain do you need your mustard seed sized faith to move? I encourage you to plant that small seed of faith and see what fruit grows.