Based in Frederick, Maryland, Digital Ink & Parchment is a blog by Alexandria Pallat. Her posts explore the integration of faith in every day life.

Day 26: Spiritual Growth

Day 26: Spiritual Growth

How did it go?

I went to church for the first time in 6 months today. I’ve decided to look into churches in the area, so today was a visit to one of them. I don’t like saying I’m “church hopping.” I am just trying to find a church where I am comfortable.

My biggest problem is that I really liked our church in Arizona, and I miss it—the community, the people…It took time to get to that point, and I feel like I threw it all away. Of course, when I get to that thinking, the guilt starts to creep in.

Comparison is the thief of joy. I think that works for not only everyday life, but also our faith life. If I continue to compare my previous church with any one I attend, I won’t ever be comfortable, and I won’t ever be willing to give another place a chance. People and places are never the same, so it’s unfair to compare.

I forgot, though, how emotionally tiring church can be.

What did I learn?

The sermon was on spiritual growth and how we can work toward it. It was a good sermon and enlightening. I walked away more determined to grow spiritually and to grow my prayer life.

But when I left, I felt drained.

I can’t remember what exactly made me feel that way, but I remember that certain pieces of the sermon almost had me in tears. Most of the songs, even, had me close to tears.

I remember having a similar feeling at our church in Arizona, and it would happen when I was dealing with something I was so lost about.

I’ve come to the conclusion it’s God asking me to lay it down and give it to Him. It’s Him making me see that I am trying so badly to hold on to something that I need to lay at His feet.

I walked away, though, being more motivated to grow in my faith. And I walked away with a bit of an idea on how to do that. Even if I'm not perfect at it, or it isn't done "correctly" all of the time, what matters is that I am motivated to change my spiritual life.

So, while I felt emotionally exhausted after service, I also felt a bit more hopeful. I guess only church and time with God can really make you feel that way.

Day 27: Commitment

Day 27: Commitment

Day 25: Like Jesus Does

Day 25: Like Jesus Does